What happened to the American Family?

When I think of the "American Family", I think of a 1950's sitcom almost - Mom with her hair in curls, dressed in her dress and apron, Dad in his suit and tie coming home from work carrying his briefcase, the 2 children at the table playing a board game, with the dog napping on the floor. Oh, and did I mention the white picket fence? It's been 50 years since that was the norm, but life now seems so much more chaotic, stressful, just plain busy... And family? It's almost non-exsistent. Sure, we have Mom's and Dad's, but more than 50 % of them are divorced, and the kids are shuffled back and forth between 2 different households. And nearly 1/2 of the kids suffer from anxiety, depression, or other psychological disorders. What happened?

For quite some time now, I have questioned the way families are changing. With the new wave of available technologies, families seem to be growing further and further apart. In a society where the internet has allowed us to network with so many, why are we so withdrawn? Families used to be VERY different than they are today. It used to be normal for Mom's to stay at home, families to have meals together every night, families to attend church together, etc. But these days, "family time" means Dad tuned out in front of the tv, while Mom simultaneously cooks dinner and checks email on her laptop, with little Billy playing video games upstairs, and Jenny talking on her cell phone, listening to her ipod, and surfing the net all at the same time. And I see this example everywhere. Which makes me have to ask, WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED??? And why is no one else concerned?

I have been called extreme in my views, as well as old fashioned. But time and time again, studies have shown that the traditional way of raising a family works best, produces the healthiest, well rounded children. Children are meant to be raised in a stable environment - that is how God designed them to be. (This is also why God designed marriage to be a life-long commitment. ) When children are raised in a loving, supportive environment, with both parents and a healthy marriage, they thrive. They are less likely to be disobedient, to commit acts of violence, and are even at less risk of psychiatric disorders and many diseases. Studies also show that children do best with stay at home Moms. In my opinion, every family can find a way to allow one parent to stay at home. It simply depends on what that family is willing to sacrifice in order to put their children first. In our case, we sacrificed more than 1/2 our income. We had to sacrifice in a lot of ways - completely altering our standard of living. But our son is going to have his Mom at home regardless of the cost, because it is what we feel is best. I would rather take care of my husband and son than have that fancy car, new home, new computer, whatever. For me, the sacrifice is far outweighed by the benefits. It makes me wonder why there aren't more Moms rising up and questioning what is going on? What happened to parents sacrificing whatever was needed so that their children could have the best possible chance of doing better? When did the idea change so that the children were the ones to sacrifice for the parent's contentment? I see far too many children being thrust into daycare, or left at home without supervision, purely so the parents can go to work and afford that new Escalade. Or that shopping spree, or whatever. (Now, I am getting ahead of myself. This is not to say that there are not wonderful single parents, who have no other choice than to work, and who are doing the best they can.)

With that said, I think we should all take a second look at what we are doing in our marriages and families. Quite literally, the way our children are raised will shape the future, or lack thereof, of America. What is our children's future REALLY worth to us? And what changes will we be willing to make in order to offer them a better future? Is it worth putting down the laptop and having dinner together? Turning off the tv/cell phone/ipod and sitting down and having a family chat? Or game night? If our families disintegrate, so will our children's future. Don't we owe it to them to invest our time and resources into them now? Defenitely worth considering.

(And if you are interested, I am reading a wonderful book on the topic - I began reading Dr. James Dobson's book, "Bringing Up Boys" today, and I must say that I have never read a book that so closely echoes my own beliefs. I would HIGHLY recommend it to anyone who has a son. Brilliantly written, with a ton of insight. I cannot put it down!)